


Puer Luna

by DragonChip



Series: Puer Luna, [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: #hppridemonth | wolfstars_'s Harry Potter Pride Month, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Dirty Thoughts, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, Hurt Remus Lupin, Indian James Potter, James Potter Being an Asshole, M/M, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, POV Remus Lupin, Person of Color James Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Top Sirius Black, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young James Potter, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27543247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonChip/pseuds/DragonChip
Summary: This story is following Remus Lupin from fifth year at Hogwards.-The marauders haven't been made yet, and no one is animagus.-Lily is Remus's only friend.-Peter doesn't exist, he doesn't deserve that!-
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Puer Luna, [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013259
Kudos: 6





	Puer Luna

The Little Secret  
His lips touched my neck. This wasn’t something new, we had gone further before. He began to unbutton my shirt, our little dirty secret was going to stay in this room forever. Except I can't call it a room, the closet they were hiding in was their only place to escape.  
‘’Sirius, I can't do this.’’  
‘’Yes, you can Lupi…’’  
He was continuing to kiss my chest, the feeling was to die for.  
‘’If James looked at the map… He could see us.’’ I was trying to sound serious, but it was hard. Sirius was so hot.  
‘’Don't you worry so much, he won't tell.’’  
Sirius pushed me against the wall. Continuing to kiss my lips. He was so hot, I wanted him so badly, but I knew I could not…  
I stopped kissing him back, just let his lips go over my body.  
‘’Is something wrong Lupi? Don't you want me?’’ Says Sirius with a grin on his face. I knew I had to answer him, but I could not find the words, because I wanted him, I needed him, but I could never have him. 

Everyone is already confused about why I'm disappearing every month.  
‘’I can't keep lying to you.’’ I nearly screamed. Sirius stopped kissing me and stepped back.  
‘’Lupi, what's wrong? Am I so bad at this?’’ He was smiling, he didn't understand that this was important. But how could he, he had everything.  
I have just him.

‘’I can keep lying to you,’’ I said quieter. I looked down. This is the time I have to tell him. Sirius lifted up my face so our gaze met.  
‘Lupi, you can always talk to me. You know that, right?’’  
‘’Sirius…’’ I whispered.  
‘’Don't say that you are straight!’’ I smiled, but it was fake.  
Tears start falling down my cheeks. I didn't bother to brush them away, what's the point. I trust Sirius, with all my heart.  
‘’I’m, I'm a werewolf…’’  
My voice broke, I could feel his eyes staring at me. Trying to find a smile, but when he couldn’t find it, he gave up.  
‘’Lupi… I don't care who you are. You are still you no matter what.’’ His voice is strong and serious.  
I looked down, my whole face turned red in a second.  
‘’Look at me’’ He said confidently, lifting up my head again. Our eyes met.  
‘’I don't care who you are, you are mine, and I love you with all my heart, that would never change. At least I know why you have these awful scars all over your body.’’ He laughed.  
I smirked, leaning my head on his shoulder. He hugged me and kissed my head.  
I don't know how much time had passed, minutes, horse, when we finally broke apart.  
‘’We have to get back to our common room. It’s nearly dawn.’’ I laughed a nervous laugh.  
‘’Yeah.’’  
Since it was so late no one was patrolling the halls, we got back without trouble. When we got back to our beds I was really tired, I couldn't hold my eyes open…  
‘’What are you doing?’ I say. Sirius stood up from his bed and began moving closer to mine.  
‘’Don't worry I will be gone by morning.’’

I don't know then I fell asleep, it was probably in the early morning. One thing I do remember was my lover's body and lips pressed to mine and his warm, strong arms wrapped around me.

I only get three hours of sleep until I wake up, I'm trying to sleep again but it's impossible, I'm too anxious about tonight.  
Why did I tell him? You dumbass. How could I be so stupid? What if I hurt him. I didn't realize I was speaking out loud to myself before it was too late. I wanted to scream in my pillow but I'm worried that I will wake someone up. Dumbledore offered me my own room on the first day of school, but I refused, not wanting to stick out even more than I already am. It has been really hard to hide and control my ‘Problem’, Especially from Sirius…  
‘’Luni Lupin, go back you little shit.’’ A book hit my face really hard, I leaned forward in pain grabbing my head, my face must have given me out because Sirius looked furious, like he wanted to punch James, but tried to hide it as well as he could.

‘’Oh, I’m sorry, did you get hurt?‘’ James’s laughing voice filled the room. I stormed out, only in my Pj’s. Sirius was just sitting there, doing nothing… Didn’t his words mean anything to him, did he just say everything, do everything to make fun of me?

‘’You are a real dick James, you know that?!’’ Sirius stormed out of the room. Remus was sitting on the couch in the common room, tears falling from his eyes.  
‘’Lupi! Are you okay?’’ Sirius said worried, sitting down beside him. 

‘’Why did you say that?’’ My voice was quiet. You should just let him make fun of me. I don't care.’’ He wanted to say that he is not worth it, but it will just make Sirius sad. 

‘’Well that’s a lie, Remus I know when you lie.’’ I looked down, he knows me too well. 

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Sirius pushed me down on the sofa, I could protest, but I didn't care. Sirius looked me in the eyes and climbed slowly on top of me. ‘’Stop it. Anyone can see us.’’ My voice didn't come out as serious as it should be. 

‘’I-’’ He didn't have the time to say anything before he heard someone go down the stairs.  
Sirius jumped and climbed of Remus.

‘’Naaaaw, do you feel bad for this pore piece of shit.’’ James' voice was slimy and disgusting.  
‘’You don't treat other people like this, James.’’ He rolls his eyes and continues.  
‘’Luni, who did you get those awful hickies from, can't believe someone wants to snog someone like you.’’ He laughs.  
‘’Jealous?’’ Sirius meets Remus’s eyes, they were scared like shit.

‘’Omg! Sirius Black is snogging Luni Lupin. It’s that cute.’’ Said James still laughing.

A cold feeling goes down Remus’s back, he is horrified of what Sirius will say now.  
I wasn't expecting this. 

‘’James,’’ Sirius says in a calm, almost lazy voice. ‘’I don't snog people like him, you should have known better. He is a pore, dirty, nerd.’’ Each word hit Remus like someone had punched him in the stomach. He could not believe his lover's words. ‘’James, wanna get out of here? We could steal some food from the kitchen on the way?’’

‘’That's the Sirius I know.’’ Answers James with a grind, pulling on his jacket.  
‘’Bye Luni.’’ James' words hang in the air when the two boys leave the room. Leaving Remus alone, and confused. 

Remus could not believe his ears, how could this amazing person betray him like that?!  
Tears started falling down his face, he doesn’t weather bother to stop them.  
He’s holding his head in his hands, trying to stay calm and not scream. 

‘’Remus, you ok?’’ Lilly’s soft voice hit my ears, I felt a warm hand around my shoulders.

‘’No!’’ My voice broke, I cried hysterically, gasping for air with my head on her shoulder.  
I’m lucky that only Lily is here right now. Or else people will spread rumors that I'm a baby and need help from a girl. Lily is not just a girl, she is the only person who knows everything about me, and is always there for me. I really get why she is a Gryffindor, she always stands out for me, no matter what.  
They have only been friends for four years but it feels like forever.

‘’Do you want me to follow you to your room?’’ I nod. She helps me up on my feet and follows me to my room. The door closes and I immediately fall on my bed, face down. Lily’s angry voice fills the room. ‘’Was it James again?! How dare that dickhead treat you like that.’’ I don’t answer, she knows I will say yes. 

‘’This time it’s worse.’’ My voice was sore from all the tears so I had to cough, several times.  
‘’Sirius…’’ Lilly looks at me, I know what she wants to say. She warned me from playing with Sirius, she warned me from coming in contact with him, but I couldn't resist him, his black hair and dark blue eyes, ow, he was so delicious. She knew he would hurt me, but I didn't listen.  
‘’I’m so stupid!’’ I screamed. ‘’How could I ever think that he had changed, he and James bullied me whole four years. But we had a thing...He said he loved me!’’ My eyes began to become red.

‘’Remus calm down!’’ She screamed, it’s really dangerous for her to be near me when I’m angry.  
‘’Calm down’’ She said more calmly, my eyes slowly began turning back to brown. ‘’Remus, god job. Breath. Tell me everything, slowly and calmly.’’ She knew me too well. I was so grateful to have her as my friend.

I told her everything, from what happened tonight to this morning.  
In the end, she just stood there, still, with her arms crossed.  
‘’I’m so sorry Remus. I want to beat the crap out of James. You know I can.’’ I took her hand, I really appreciated her… But she could not fight all my battles. On the other side, she is the smartest person he knows of, she could literally do it.  
I shook my head. She knew he wouldn't allow it.  
‘’Remus… Forget him. You don’t need him.’’

A shocking thought runs through my head. ‘’Lily I told him about me! He knows my secret.’’ Her face showed shock, she didn't think of that either. ‘’ I have to talk to him before he tells James!’’ Now I was really worried.

~

Breakfast, charms, double potion lessons, lunch, and then finally, some free-time.  
Lily and I go back to the common room.  
‘’You should grab your book before transfiguration.’’ Says Lily.  
‘’Yeah, that's a good point.’’  
I was glad I was going alone because I didn't want her to see me cry. I’ve held it in all day.

I hear a sharp voice.  
‘’Lupi-’’ Siriuse’s voice filled the room.  
I glanced at him with the angriest look I could make. ‘’You look so hot when you do that.’’ The boy moves closer to the werewolf, touching his face and then down to his chest.

I snapped, pushed Sirius away from me, and flicked out my wand.  
‘’Don’t you dare, touch me. You know what I’m capable of! So stay the fuck away!’’  
Sirius dropped the act.  
‘Lupi-’’ He said again.  
The look I sent him made him shut up instantly. ‘’Remus, look I’m sorry.’’  
‘’Your words don’t mean a shit to me! I’m not an object you can play with and then just thrown away.’’ I was really angry. Sirius tried to say something, protest but I didn't let him. ‘’I know you don’t want to get caught, but this is awful, you are awful. I can’t believe I used my time on you!’’  
‘’Remus, I’m incredibly sorry. You are important to me, I love you.’’ Sirius was nearly crying. I felt such a trang to jump in his arms, rip off his clothes, hold around his neck and kiss his face off, but that was never going to happen, I’m still mad. I started biting my lower lip, it started to bleed, I didn't like the feeling of blood, it reminded me of the long nights in the forest.

Sirius took a step closer to me, but I pointed my wand to his face, he stepped back.  
‘’Lupi. I won’t tell, don’t worry. I love you whatever happens. I messed up, I have been a horrible person. But- I would never do anything to hurt you.’’ I nearly cried before the last part of his speech.  
‘’Good job that you have come to the conclusion to do that,’’ I said sarcastically. I’m impressed. So what did you do this morning? You hurted me, Sirius...You know what, go fuck yourself, I’m so done with you!’’ This was the last drop. I ran out of the room, I didn’t even pick up my book. Shit!

I rushed past Lily, pretending to not notice her. She looked really confused for a second, she grabbed my arm and yanked me back beside her.  
‘’Remus what’s wrong? I heard you yelling.’’ I rolled my eyes at her, this was just so stupid.  
‘’You know who I found lurking in my room? Black was standing there, trying to hit on me again. Could you please tell him to stop, since you have such a good connection?’’ I said sarcastically. ‘’It’s fucking annoying.’’ I was so furious, how could she do this to me. After all, I told her this morning. 

‘’You didn’t think that yesterday. When you were kissing each other skin off.’’ She answered quickly. I must have seen very angry because people began to stare at us.  
‘’Look, Remus, I’m sorry. He looked so sad during potion class, he came to me after literally begging me to make you talk to him.’’ I couldn't picture Sirius begging, normally he was so confident, and charming, and…

‘’Yeah, I figured he will do something like that,’’ I said rolling my eyes. ‘’He is just so evil, and really bad at flirting’’ I smirked. Even thinking about him makes me horny. 

‘’See you still like him! Stop being a baby about it and go and get him.’’ Now I was really angry.  
‘’Lily it’s not that easy! Why are you changing sides all of a sudden? Is it because of James?!’’ I only teased, but she sent me such a scary look that I had to step back, this was not worth fighting over. She hates it when I bring up James, he was hot and all of that, but he was really mean. She dated him in first year before she found out he was bullying me, and it wasn’t such a serious relationship, not like him and Sirius.  
Fuck!

‘’If you will do it willingly, I’ll make you.’’ Now I began to feel worried. She muffled a charm and suddenly I hear her voice inside of my head, making me move.  
She controlled me back to my room, took my want away, and locked the door. 

‘’Lily this is not funny! Let me out of here. How could you use an unforgivable curse on me?!’’ I screamed, but she must have set up a sound-damping charm on the door. I didn’t want to be in the same room as him.  
I began feeling angry, not good! ‘’Lily open the damn door!! Before something happens…’’ Lily didn’t answer me. My eyes began turning red, I screamed for help.  
Not this, not here. I felt a strong hand pressing on my mouth, trying to make me stop screaming. I couldn’t resist anymore, my eyes were now fully red.

I felt his soft skin break, allowing my teeth to go deep in my former lover’s hand, his warm, dark red blood filled my mouth, only then I realized what I was doing, and heard the scream. Sirius was screaming, screaming out of pain, but he didn’t try to move his hand. I immediately stopped biting, let go of him, and turned away, afraid to look him in the eyes. I was horrified, what have I done! 

‘’Look at me.’’ He said, quietly stepping closer and turning me around, he lifted my head up so I looked him in the eyes. There was blood dripping from his hand onto the floor. My face was red, not only from blood but that I was embarrassed.

‘’I’m so sorry Sirius!’’ I cried wanting to hug and punch him at the same time.  
‘’Hey, now we are even…’’ He answered nervously.  
‘’Don’t you fucking say that! I lost control, I should have been more careful.’’ Tears started falling from my eyes.  
‘’Remus,’’ He says quietly, brushing away my tears with his left thumb. ‘’Look at me. I’m ok. You're ok. That’s all that matters.’’ I brushed away his hand, taking his right hand in my own. It was an awful wound, I hated the look of blood.

‘’Episkey’’ I whispered. Sirius bites his lower lip in pain. ‘’Sorry.’’ The wound was not fully healed, but it was enough to stop the bleeding. ‘’You should go to Madam Pomfrey, I mean, you have to. Don’t worry, she knows about me.’’ I look down at his hand.

‘’Are you kidding. And have you expelled?’’ I stroke his arm, up and down, up and down.  
‘’You have to, what if you got infected,’’ I whispered, leaning against him, kissing his lips. It wasn’t so romantic even, just a plain kiss, no tung. But it was wonderful. I wanted to do more, but I could never, never again. ‘’I can’t be seeing you anymore, I don’t want to,’’ I whisper. Sirius looked really confused.  
‘’B-but, but I…’’ I didn’t give him the chance to speak.  
‘’I’m dangerous, Dumbeldore already took a risk allowing me to go to Hogwarts.’’ Sirius nodded, he was so wonderful. ‘’Go to Pomfrey, I beg you.’’ I nodded at the door, not wanting to ask if he could open it.  
‘’Alohomora.’’ That was the last thing he said to me before I left him alone in the room. I saw a tear falling down his chin, but I just walked away. 

Lilly was sitting in the common room, waiting for me with a smile.  
I sent her a fake one and headed out of the Gryffindor dorm.  
‘’Wait up! Luni. Where are you going, I’m right here.’’ I ignored her dumb question. I didn’t bother to care.  
‘’Don’t call me Luni, I hate it,’’ I answer quickly before disappearing behind the portrait. I didn’t see what she did, but I’m pretty sure she just rolled her eyes.

‘’Remus Lupin you stop at once.’’ A loud voice filled the empty classroom I was hiding in. I just rolled my eyes. Of course, it was Lily.  
‘’Can’t you just leave me alone?’’ I screamed.  
‘’What happened?’’ She asks angrily.  
‘’Ummm, I dunno the person who is supposed to be my best friend looked me in a room with my enemy.’’ I swallowed, I didn’t like calling Sirius that. ‘’That same person took my wand, and hasn't given it back, by the way.’’ I didn’t let her interrupt me. ‘’And not to mention she used imperio on me. And by the way, everything did get your way, I was angry and couldn’t control myself, now Sirius must live his whole life with a bloody scar on his hand.’’ I was so angry, but I didn’t let the wolf inside me get into control, not again.  
When I was done yelling she looked like someone had killed her parents or something, her whole face was scared as fuck.  
‘’Remus’’ She said her eyes were filling up with tears. ‘’I’m so sorry Remus.’’ She was crying, tears falling down her pretty cheeks.  
I felt embarrassed, she was trying so hard to make him feel good, to feel loved…

I ran to her, grabbing her around her shoulders, hugging her, hard. I ran my hand down her back, patting her as she cried into my shoulder. I told her everything except the part when we kissed. That was private. I didn’t want her to say that we could go back together, cause we could not, not after I had lost control. 

~

His warm, strong hands running over my shirtless body.  
I had to go to dinner.  
His lips touching mine, his tongue slowly sliding into my mouth.  
I wasn’t hungry but Lily said she would curse me if I didn’t.  
The strength he pushed me to the wall with.  
She must be really mad at me for not eating.  
His soft experience tung gliding down my neck, kissing it like it was the last time.  
‘’Aaargh, I can’t stop thinking about him!’’ I complain. Hitting my head on the table.  
‘’Remus calm down. It was you who wanted to end this, stop being so dramatic’’ Lily answers quickly before taking another bite of her sausage. I had been talking about Sirius and only about Sirius the past week. She must be getting pretty mad.

I still don’t touch my food, just listen to Lilly complaining about Severus, about Slughorn giving them too much homework and she said something about quidditch, but I don’t follow that shit.  
‘’Hey, guys!’’ A high pitched voice hit my ear, I was so lost in my thoughts that I jumped.  
‘’Holy shit!’’ I screamed.  
‘’Hey, Frank!’’ Lily said pinching my leg, I had drawn out my want, pointing it at him.  
‘’Hey,’’ I said awkwardly putting my wand back into my robes. I had literally just held him at wand point. I’m such an embarrassment.  
‘’What are you doing here? Why aren't you with your girlfriend’’ I said grumpy.  
‘’Don't be so mean to him Rumus!’’ I just rolled my eyes, she continued, ignoring my look. ‘’Did you want to tell us something?’’  
‘’Ehmm… Can I study with you tonight I heard you were really good at charms?’’ He looked so nervous, but I didn't care, he scared the shit out of me.  
‘’Again, why aren't you with your girlfriend’’ She kicked me, I ran to safety from her angry look. That means out of The Great Hall. Lily made me smile, I liked that, she had her own way, by causing me physical pain, but I still liked her. 

We meet up after dinner. She looked surprisingly happy.  
‘’What is it? Why are you smiling.’’ I demanded.  
‘’Nothing’’ she said quietly hiding a smile  
‘’Tell me! Was it Frank, what did he want?’’ when she didn't answer me I began to feel worried, but she was smiling, why did she smile if something was wrong? ‘’He wasn't trying to hit on you, was he?!’’ she just smirked. ‘’Stop torturing me!’’  
‘’Alright, I’ll tell you’’ she finally answered. ‘’He wanted help on that charm essay. And since you so nicely asked, he has broken off with his girlfriend. It was actually a pretty public breakup, I don't understand why you didn't know about it.’’  
‘’Lily, you know I don't follow that stuff. It's like your thing, someone tells Marlene, Malene, of course, tell’s you and then you tell me.’’ I smiled. 

‘’But back on your favorite subject, Sirius Black…’’ She smiled. Sending me funny looks.  
‘’Lily, stop it, we broke off and I don't want to think about him anymore.’’ I must have not sounded so serious because she was still smirking.  
Her face quickly turned serious.  
‘’Maybe you're right... If you think being with him is wrong, then I won't bring it up anymore.’’ It’s not that I feel it’s wrong, I’ve known I like guys for ages, what I feel with him is so strong, and it pains me to even look at him and not hug him. I just want to be a normal kid, with a normal life and have the opportunity to have boyfriends. But I can’t, Fenrir insured that.  
Instead of going on an emotional speech, I put on a fake smile.  
‘’Lily you are supposed to say ‘no Remus, never give up, it will get better.’’ I mimic her voice, I was actually pretty good at it. A book slapped my head, I wonder where that girl got it from…  
‘’I do not sound like that!’’ She began turning angry.  
‘’But you do.’’ should be getting running after me. I have no other choice but to flee. 

we came back to our common room laughing. even Sirius’s sad eyes when he sat together with James and the other Gryffindors couldn't bring me down.

I used the rest of the day doing homework. After Supper, the other girls joined us. Any other guy will be thrilled to have so many pretty girls around him. But I was more comfortable when it was just me and Lily, only me and Lily, when we could just chill on the couch and not be concerned about other people.

‘’Remus, can you talk to,’’ Lily asked me, I rolled my eyes but follow her into a corner.  
‘’What do you want to do with Sirius, you share the same room.’’  
‘’ Lily’’ I sight, ‘’I'll just pretend that nothing has happened.’’ The worried look on her face disappeared, slowly. 

The time began coming close tonight. I didn't get much sleep tonight so I wanted to go early to bed. I said goodnight to Lily and the other girls and went to my dorm.  
‘’Looney go away!’’ I didn't expect James to be here so early. Normally he and Sirius came back to their dorm around two o’clock, They didn't Bother to be quiet. Sirius knew I had sleeping trouble, he had found out, but James didn't care, he was mean, just to be mean.  
‘’Why!? Why this is my room too.’’ I snapped back. James crossed his arms.  
‘’You talk back at me?’’ He smirks. A sharp pain hit my face.  
I didn't care that he hit me, it wasn't something new. He had done it before.  
‘’ Didn't you learn anything from last time?’’ Said, James.  
Oh, last time, I remember, in third year… It was so much pain… Sirius and James beat the crap out of me, I had bruises all around my body, it was the worst time of my life.  
I turned around and went back down the stairs. He was probably going to fuck some random person he just met. As usual.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked what you have read.  
> This is my first fanfic i've ever made, it's not done YET!


End file.
